In part, some of my friends' difficulties in accepting the fatal ending of my condition may be owing simply to incomplete information about my diagnosis and/or incomplete understanding of the resultant prognosis, given the current state of the art of oncology. Difficulty in acceptance by others may stem from a belief that if I "give up," my outcome will be negatively affected. For some, the difficulty may go to the heart of their belief systems, such as beliefs in miracles, miracle cures, divine intervention, and the curative power of prayer and positive thoughts. (I am profoundly grateful for friends' thoughts and prayers.) For some, if I do not believe that I can survive my condition for an extended period of time, it is harder for them to deal with my plight. Each of these difficulties is well taken and would be more than worthy of a separate discussion.
In spite of my acceptance of my fate, I do not find myself lacking in optimism or positive thoughts. As the recipient since my diagnosis of extraordinary kindness from loved ones, friends, and care-giving professionals, I have never felt closer to my fellow man or more optimistic about the human condition. I see no contradiction between being a realist and being an optimist.
Perhaps I could describe my current state of mind as that of a realistic optimist. Susan and I recently made a monetary contribution to cancer research, not out of any hope that it will benefit me, but rather out of faith that eventually cancer research will result in significantly lower death rates and significantly longer survival times for those afflicted by cancer. I enjoyed myself today with friends at lunch and dinner, and I have plans to do the same, and more, tomorrow!
