A Beautiful Day

In order to maximize my energy for tomorrow's surgery, a nurse at MSK advised me to go for a walk today for exercise, rather than go to the gym. Although a session at the gym would have been more relaxing, it was a beautiful day for a walk-- sunny, just warm enough for a short-sleeved shirt, and low humidity. My son and I walked for a little over half an hour, to the 51st Street overpass over a dog park, and down alongside the East River. The dogs were in high spirits.

I have much the same feeling that I have had throughout my life when a vacation is coming to an end, and it is time to return to the real world: I feel as if I am returning to school or to work, but with an ominous overtone. Tomorrow, I will surrender myself to a procedure in which I will give up control and consciousness and emerge in a fragile, vulnerable, painful condition. But what wouldn't I have given a few weeks ago to have the possibility of longer survival or even a cure-- the possibility for which this procedure is a prerequisite? 

As I do chores and otherwise make final preparations for tomorrow, I am mindful of, and feel truly blessed by, the support of family and friends. Thank you!